Intentions
by unicorn-y
Summary: They had grown apart, but neither of them had moved on. Brittany had settled in New York and found a man that should have been perfect for her but somehow it wasn't enough. M in later chapters.
1. Intentions

Brittany marched around her apartment looking for the same pair of shoes she wore every day. Every single morning she struggled to find them, and every morning she found them just in time so she wouldn't be late for her job. It was part of that same routine that she went through every single day and that same one she had been going by for three years. For three years she had been living in the rundown studio apartment in the Upper East Side of New York City.

She didn't live alone. She could never live alone; it was that one condition that had prevented her from moving out of her parent's home for so many years. She was more than thankful when she met Elliott, the man that had fallen in love with her. He was the man that would take care of her, most likely for the rest of her life. He was more than just a decent guy. He had everything that a girl dreamed about; a great personality, the qualities of a perfect gentleman, and goals that could lead them into making a successful family and she could live comfortable. But she knew she could never love him.

_Her hands were full as she walked out of the elevator; her binder of important papers was tucked under her arm, her large coffee clutched in her hand, and her other arm wrapped tightly around stack of encyclopedias and newspapers. She looked down at her watch, trying to think how much time she had before she had to get to her next class. _

_She had turned around the corner, her eyes down and not paying attention to where she was going. The next moment she was on the ground and her hands were empty. Papers flew everywhere and her coffee spilled next to her. Instead of grumbling and throwing a fit, she got up silently and collected her papers. _

"_Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying atten-" _

_She looked up at the boy in front of her with calm eyes and a blank expression. She had gotten to that point where she didn't care. _

"_It's no problem. My coffee was stale anyways." She gave him a genuine smile and returned to collecting her papers. A normal college guy would have walked away, glad to have gotten away from an awkward situation. But instead he knelt down next to her and began straightening her papers and gathering them for her. _

"_That isn't necessary. I know you have other places to be, I know I do." She stood up with her disorganized binder, knowing she would have to go through it later. He stood up with her and held her books in his hand. _

"_It is, I'm sorry. Where's your dorm? I can carry these if you'd like. It would be a pain if you bumped into another clumsy kid and dropped everything." He smiled at her with that smile that she would grow to enjoy, and she nodded and gestured for him to follow. _

_She reached her thumb to her finger to twirl the ring that was always there, but was surprised to find it empty. She stopped short and looked up at the boy. _

"_My ring…" She set down her papers, stepped back a few feet and began searching. He did the same and knelt down beside her on the ground. He found it lying a few feet away and admired it in his hand before returning it to her. It was a simple ring, with the wire knotted but not completely tied. _

"_Here." He handed it to her with a smile and nodded at it, "It's very pretty. Where did you get it?"_

_She hesitated for a moment before responding, "A friend." She pushed the ring back over her finger and sighed in relief when it was back in place. She twirled it with her thumb, just like she always did when she thought of the friend that had given it to her, and let the boy, who she later found out was named Elliott, carry her books back to her dorm. Just like a perfect gentleman. _

Brittany raced around her apartment, searching for her shoes. She grew so frustrated every morning over them, but she always found them. She grabbed them with a loud grumble as she spotted them underneath the sofa. She slipped them over her feet it swift movements and straightened out her pant legs and jacket.

Elliott had already left for work earlier that morning and, as always, he had left her a made lunch and a note saying a few simple words.

_Have a nice day!_

_I'll be home early to make dinner_

_Love you_

_-Elliott_

She smiled at the message, similar to the ones that she got every day, and packed the lunch neatly in her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. She made her way to leave, turning off the lights and making sure the oven was off, like she did every morning. She paused for a moment and looked out the window. The view wasn't horrible; she could see part of Central Park and a big chunk of the city.

Her thumb moved across her fingers and stopped the twirl the ring that was always there. She leaned her shoulder against the window and gave herself a moment to think. Her eyes drifted closed and she let her thoughts wander like old times. A few minutes late to work wouldn't hurt.

Her eyes shot open when she heard a soft knock on the door. It was 7am on a Thursday morning, who would be here? Her eyebrows furrowed and a confused look spread across her face. She set down her bag and made her way to the door. Her thoughts had left and her mind was back into the routine.

She grumbled when she realized that whoever was at the door was about to make her even more late to work.

But as she opened the door, every thought vanished from her mind. Her shoulders dropped and her mouth hung open in a combination of shock and complete confusion. She moved her lips to try to form the words that she knew she had to say, but nothing came out.

A few moments later a soft whisper tumbling over her lips.

"San…" She stepped forward cautiously and looked pleadingly at the girl standing in the doorway. The girl remained silent for a moment, but a smile spread across her lips, that same smile Brittany had known from years ago, and she knew instantly that it was her.

"It's me, B. I'm finally here." She smiled broadly and reached out her hand as she took a step forward. The ring on her finger glistened in the only remaining light in the room. Brittany took her hand cautiously, her thumb moving over Santana's ring like she did with her own, and whispered the words that they had said to each other that night.

"_A knot that is not quite tied yet, but has all intentions of being tied._"


	2. Old Memories

"_It isn't that hard, Britt. We'll get it eventually."Santana and Brittany were sprawled out in the grass of Brittany's backyard. Brittany held a sneaker in her hands and she looked at it with frustration. Santana, for the past hour, had been trying to teach the young blonde how to tie the laces, and Brittany didn't seem to catch on. Brittany turned the shoe over in her hand over and over again. She stared at it intently, hoping that somehow it would hit her. She set it down in front of her and tried once more, but the only thing she succeeded in was getting the shoe laces completely tangled up._

"_I'm never going to get this, San," Brittany said with a pout as she looked over at the brunette lying next to her, "I'm just going to wear Velcro shoes for the rest of my life."Santana shook her head slowly and sat up next to Brittany. She took the shoe from her and showed her once again. Her fingers moved slowly around the laces, and she looked up at Brittany a few times to make sure he was watching. Brittany was watching her intently, trying to take everything in, but her mind wasn't processing things right._

_"Can we do this later? I don't think I'm going to get it today." Brittany took the shoe from Santana's hand and threw it across her lawn, angry both at the shoe and herself. Santana smiled at her genuinely and patted her hand on her knee. _

"_Sure thing, B," Santana said to Brittany as she took her hand in hers and helped her up, "We can try again later, okay? Come on, let's go inside." She pulled her into Brittany's house and they went on to play games normal 5-year-old girls play._

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><p><em>Brittany and Santana were inseparable ever since they met in pre-school. They did everything together. Santana took care of Brittany as if she was her sister, and Brittany let her. Without her, Brittany would have been in many unbearable situations that she couldn't get out of. But she had Santana with her. Whatever obstacle they faced, they never stopped. Instead, they charged through it. Together. <em>

_It wasn't until fifth grade that people started to realize that Brittany was different. _"She isn't smart enough," _they would say, _"She isn't like us."_ But Santana kept her protected from the cruelties of the world. They stayed in their own little bubble because that was all they really needed. With the two of them, together, they could conquer anything. _

_Brittany didn't let anything get in her way. She and Santana dreamed together. They dreamed of being best friends forever and never letting any stupid boy get in their way. _

"_I'm never going to settle for anything, Sanny," she once told her as they lay in her backyard staring at the empty sky, "My dreams are going to come true. I know they will."_

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><p>Brittany slammed her phone back on the receiver after a long call with her boss. She had to nearly give up all of her vacation days just so she could have the day off. She couldn't go to work now, not since Santana showed up. Her boss had finally given in and let her have the day off, but not without giving her some grief about it.<p>

Brittany turned to Santana, who was now seated at the small table in her kitchen. She walked over to her silently with a smile and poured both of them a cup of coffee. She sat down across from her and stared at the mug in front of her.

"It might be a bit stale, it's been there since early this morning," Brittany said with a whisper as her finger traced the rim of the mug. She didn't dare look up quite yet, afraid of the eyes looking back at her. It had been too long since she last saw her and it was a lot for her to handle at once. She felt the warm hand on her arm first, and then the soft words; that once again familiar voice nearly making her crumble.

"B, please look at me," Santana said softly. Her voice cracked mid-sentence and Brittany knew she was crying. She looked up at her slowly and she swallowed back her own tears.

"How did you find me, San?" She finally said in a gentle whisper that was barely audible, "I never thought I'd see you again."

Santana smiled as if she was expecting the question. Brittany watched her and looked at the little things that had been so recognizable to her. The dimples, the way her chin scrunched when she smiles and that same hair that fell naturally over her forehead. For a moment she caught herself staring at her, but looked back down when she realized it and just listened to what she had to say.

"I ran into Noah Puckerman when I was back in Lima to visit my family. We went to lunch and spent the day talking. He said he had talked to you," she looked down into her hands as she spook and quickly wiped away the tears. "A lot of memories were brought back as we talked. I didn't realize how much I missed you and how much we had gotten out of touch."

Santana looked up at her just as Brittany did and they made real eye contact for the first time since she had stood at her door. Santana smiled weakly at her and she felt a tear collect at the corner of her mouth. She reached across the table and took her hand. She could feel Brittany's ring on her finger and she sighed as her fingers moved over it.

"I broke my promise, B. I told you I'd come back for you and that I'd make your dreams come true. I can see that it's already too late." Santana could feel more tears run down her cheeks as her eyes wandered the room. She could tell as soon as she had walked in that she wasn't alone. But Brittany shook her head softly.

"It's never too late, San," she whispered as she stood quietly in her chair, leaned across the table, and kissed her.


	3. That Night

Note: This whole chapter consists of a flashback.

_It was the summer before Senior Year and everything was going perfectly. Santana and Brittany were inseparable, as usual. They couldn't go more than two days without seeing each other. They spent days and nights together, just enjoying the last few weeks of freedom before school. Santana's parents thought nothing of it; they were just two best friends wanting to spend as much time together before their last year of high school started. It would be the last year before they separated and went off on their own to college, possibly losing that inseparable connection. But Santana and Brittany had other plans. They always talked of never losing contact after graduation. Most friends do become distant though, but they were different because they were so much more than friends._

_It was coming down to those last few days of summer and they were with each other, as expected. They were spread out on Brittany's bed, lying on their stomachs with their feet touching every so often, while they read magazines and listened to the deafening music coming from her stereo. Their hands touched when they both reached to turn the page at the same moment, and all they could do was smile at each other, no words being able to describe what it felt like. Their hands stayed touching before they both moved on simultaneously and continued reading._

_They were interrupted by the quiet knock on the door and it was pushed open an inch. Brittany's mom popped her head in with a phone pressed against her shoulder to muffle the sound as she spoke to them._

"_Santana, it's your mother. She said you wouldn't pick up your cell phone. Do you want to talk to her or should I tell her you're busy?" Her mom looked at Santana with a motherly expression. That's just how she was to Santana, a mother that was so much better than her own. Brittany's mom could see right through them and she knew more than they both thought she did. She knew they were friends, best friends actually. She also knew there was something more to that than just a close friendship and she was more than okay with it. All she wanted was for her daughter to be happy._

_Santana groaned as she rolled off the bed and trudged to the door as she grumbled, "I'll just talk to her, Ms. Pierce. Thank you." She took the phone from her kindly and walked down the hall a bit before talking._

_Brittany continued reading the article in the magazine before she felt a weight on the bed and looked up to see her mom sitting there with a questioning gaze._

"_We were just reading, Mommy, that's it." Brittany looked at her mom curiously before giving her a matter-of-fact nod._

"_I know, hun. It's okay. How are things going with you two? Is everything okay?" She ran her fingers through Brittany's blonde hair like she always did when she was little and needed comfort._

"_Yeah, everything's great. Why-"_

_Both Brittany and her mom looked up when they heard the screaming, the loud petrifying screaming. Brittany darted off of her bed in one swift movement and nearly tripped as she turned the corner into the hallway to find Santana in tears. She was crouched down on the floor with her back to the wall and the phone was still to her ear. She was screaming incoherent Spanish phrases into the phone as the tears flowed down her cheeks. Brittany rushed to her side, with tears streaming from her eyes as well, just from the fear at what was happening._

"_La amo, Mami…" Santana whispered into the phone and Brittany could hear the dial tone, notifying that her mother had just hung up._

"_Mami! _Mami!_" She screamed frantically one last time into the phone before it fell out of her hand and she turned to Brittany, revealing the own fear in her eyes. Her body shook as she let out a horrifying cry and collapsed into Brittany's arms, who instinctively wrapped them tightly around her._

"_Shhh, it's going to be okay, San. I've got you."_

_Brittany's mom watched from a few feet away as Brittany rocked gently and held Santana close in her arms. Neither Brittany nor her mother knew what had just gone on in the phone call, but all she needed to do was comfort her. It took her more than a few minutes for the crying to ease enough for her to speak. She pulled herself from Brittany's arms and wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt._

"_She…she doesn't want me to come home. Not as long as I'm on love with some stupid girl." She wiped her eyes once more and she tried to hold back the tears. "Her words, not mine."_

_Brittany stared at her in shock and she swallowed her own tears. It hurt her to see Santana so vulnerable when she usually was so strong. They both knew her mother well; her words were fierce and she never backed down. She inched closer to Santana and reached her hand to her cheek to gently wipe away her tears._

"_Everything is going to be okay, I promise." She stood quickly, motioned for the girl to stay where she was, and she ran into her room. She opened the first drawer of her dresser and searched anxiously until she found the two small silver objects sitting in the back of the drawer. She ran back to the hall and sat down beside Santana once again. Her hand opened to reveal the two identical rings to Santana and she took her hand with a gentle touch. She slipped one of the rings onto her finger as she whispered softly the meaning of it, _"_A knot that is not quite tied yet, but has all intentions of being tied._"_She smiled weakly as she looked back up to her and slipped the other ring on her own finger._

"_I promise you, Santana. It'll be okay." Santana nodded and looked down at her hand. She didn't have time to question it, but there was a thought lingering in the back of her mind that she knew Brittany was thinking, too. Brittany knew that she couldn't keep Santana away from her family, but her family couldn't keep her away from Brittany._

"_Mommy, can you drive her home?" Brittany didn't turn to her mom, but she knew she was standing nearby. Santana immediately shook her head in disagreement, knowing what it would mean if she went to face her mother._

"_No, B. I can't do that." Santana looked at her pleadingly but Brittany stood strong on her decision. She cupped her face in her hands and smiled as the tears trickled slowly once again._

"_I told you, everything is going to be okay. I promise." Santana nodded once again, but Brittany knew she didn't agree. Neither of them could be sure if they would be okay. Once Santana went home, they knew that her mother would do whatever it takes to keep them apart and they would do whatever it takes to keep them together. _


	4. What Now?

"What now, San?" Brittany said to her after a few minutes of silence. She had just, without thinking about it at all, kissed her best friend. The friend that had been gone for more than 5 years. The friend that she didn't think would ever come back. And the friend that was so much more than a friend to her.

"I think I should be asking _you_ that question. But are you even prepared to answer that?" Santana's voice was hesitant, but still as strong as it used to be. She hadn't really changed a bit, besides becoming more confident and independent.

"I don't think anyone is ever prepared to answer that question."

A long silence came over the both of them after Brittany's simple statement. It was true. One would never really know what was going to happen next, especially in a situation like there's. They were both already in a hole too deep to get out of. Brittany didn't even want to think about Elliot, and Santana didn't want to think about the possibility of being too late.

"I met a guy," Brittany said after a moment with a shrug. That was all Santana really needed; just that simple phrase that nearly broke her heart in an instant. But she had been through far too much to let just a simple few words get to her, so she let Brittany explain.

They spent the next two hours catching up. Brittany talked about Elliot and how they met. Elliot had known about Brittany and Santana unconsciously from the very beginning, just from that simple ring that Brittany wore on her finger every day for years. She didn't explain further than just a few simple details of their relationship. She didn't go into what would happen next or what would happen when Elliot would walk into the door to their apartment 5 hours later.

Santana's story was much simpler and shorter. After graduation, she had gone to the college her parents picked out for her, studied the major her parents wanted her to study, and started a career that her parents thought was best for her, becoming a lawyer. Although it was more of her parent's dream than her own, she started enjoying it.

Santana's parents had still kept her restricted like she was in high school. Her and Brittany had lost touch quickly. Brittany never really explained why she had never tried harder to keep in touch, but it wasn't a thought that went through either of their heads. They were with each other now and that was all that mattered.

"I love your shoes, by the way." Santana said after a long conversation and more than 3 cups of coffee. Brittany looked over at her work shoes lying near the door.

"Thanks."

"Still Velcro?" Santana asked with a grin.

"Still Velcro."


	5. Elliot's Accident

Elliot sat at his old desk at an architecture firm, surrounded by nearly a hundred other men, and some women, who sat an old desks doing nearly the same work every day. He enjoyed what he did, but when he started school for architecture, he had thought that career would be more interesting and hands on that it turned to be. It may have been simple and boring, but it paid well. All he had wanted was to keep Brittany and him comfortable in their New York City apartment.

It was nearly 11:30 in the morning and it felt like he had been there all day. His lunch break was in thirty minutes, but he knew he could get out early if he wanted to. Sometimes he liked to meet with Brittany for lunch just to take a break from work, and today was one of those days he really needed a break. Although he had made her a lunch before he left, he reached for his phone to send her a text asking to meet up.

_Hey babe, want to meet for lunch?_

Elliot knew she could most likely get out for lunch a little early, too. They didn't go out that often, but when they did both of their bosses were flexible with their schedules. As Elliot waited for a reply to his text, he tucked away his papers and finished a few stray things, preparing to leave. He was just about to go talk to his boss when his phone vibrated on his desk. Brittany's reply lit up the screen.

_Sure! Do you mind if I bring a friend?_

Elliot furrowed his brow in confusion at Brittany's reply, but sent her a quick OK in reply. He didn't know what friend she intended on bringing. She never really socialized at work too much enough to meet friends and she never talked about anybody. He didn't think too much of it, just believing it was someone who wanted to meet him, so he packed up his things to leave.

Brittany and Santana were still sitting in the same place at her kitchen table when Brittany's phone beeped from across the room. Brittany was about to ignore it but Santana told her to get it. She didn't want to keep her from something that may have been important. It took Brittany a minute to dig out her phone from her coat pocket and open it to see a message from guy she had completely forgotten about in the last couple of hours.

"It's from Elliot." Brittany mumbled as if Santana had asked what it was. "He wants to meet me for lunch."

"You should go. I don't want to keep you from your boyfriend." Santana's expression didn't change, her smile still lingering on her lips. She said boyfriend as if it didn't affect her, but Brittany knew it did. Brittany knew how much Santana could hide her feelings.

"He's not… I don't want to go. Not without you." Brittany was about to reply to Elliot saying she was busy, even though lying to him would be hard, when Santana surprised her.

"Do you want me to come?"

"Do you want to? I didn't think you'd want to see…" Brittany trailed off as she walked back over to the table with her phone in her hand. "If you want to come you can."

"I'd love to. If you wouldn't mind having me."

"I would never mind having you." Brittany messaged Elliot to make sure it was okay if she brought a friend with her, just a friend, and she knew he would be okay with it. Once she was sure, Santana and Brittany were on their way.

They planned to meet Elliot at a restaurant near her work that they always met at when they had lunch together. After the first time, it was kind of a given and they never went anywhere different. It was all part of the routine that they kept. Except this time, Brittany knew she was breaking any sense of routine by bringing Santana. She knew it could end in disaster.

It was a ten minute drive in normal traffic, but thirty minutes in rush hour. Right now, everyone was out for lunch and the roads were jammed. The air was tense and neither of them said much beside a few comments by Santana about the city. After a few minutes of silence as they sat at a red light, Brittany suddenly felt a hand on hers across the middle consul. She looked up at Santana, who seemed like she wanted to say something but was too scared. It was a familiar look from back in high school, when Brittany had to push Santana to get her walls to come down.

"Brittany…" Santana whispered. Her voice was barely audible and raspy, as if she trying to hide the sound of the tears in her voice. "Do you love him?"

Brittany was shocked to say the least, considering Santana as never usually so forward. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to hurt Santana, but at the same time she didn't want to lead her on. It took her a moment to search her head, and heart, for the truth.

"I…" she said after a minute as she looked at Santana, her car still at a standstill at the red light. "I never really loved anyone else but you. I guess I just… settled." She saw that look in Santana's eye and she knew that made her happy. Brittany could tell Santana still loved her too. She had come back after all. No girl would come to New York City in search for someone else if she didn't love her.

Santana was about to say something when she was interrupted by a loud honk of a car. Brittany's head snapped back to the road and expletives flew from her mouth as she frantically tried to turn the wheel. She didn't realize that as she was looking at Santana, her foot had slipped from the brake and her car drifted into the intersection, right into traffic. The honk had come from a car that had slowed to a stop, but they weren't so lucky with the next one. The driver of a large van had hit the brakes too late and the van came plowing into Brittany's car, right into the driver's side. The last thing she was aware of was Santana's hand slipping from her grip, and then she realized she never really had a grip of it in the first place.


	6. That Awful Sound

**A/N: This chapter is based off the song Suggestions by Orelia. Mostly the first couple of lines: _It just takes a second for my world to come crumbling down_**  
><strong><em>Oh I'm sure in the distance you can hear that awful sound.<em>**

* * *

><p>After talking to his boss, Elliot had made it out of his workplace in no time and was on his way. He sent Brittany a text letting her know he was leaving, but he knew she wouldn't look at it while she was on the road. At least it gave her that security of knowing where he was. It wasn't that she was being clingy, she just liked knowing, just to be safe. She had always been careful about everything because she didn't want their perfect life and routine to change, and he was okay with that.<p>

The main parking area that most people in Elliot's office building used was a block away. It wasn't a bad walk and it was a fairly nice day out. It took three minutes to get there and then another ten minutes to find his car. It was always in the same place but it was hard to navigate through the lot.

After making it to the lot and searching around, he walked up to the large van that he called his own. Brittany had convinced him to buy it the previous year, telling him that they could have a family and they needed a family car. He had said New York City wasn't a great place to raise a family, but she had convinced him to buy the van nonetheless. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't the greatest either. The brakes were failing and he knew they should be fixed soon.

In a few minutes, he was on his way to the restaurant. It was a place called Parodi's Diner that served mostly cheap Italian food, but you could pretty much get anything. It was small with only a few waitresses and they all knew Brittany and Elliot by name. They knew their orders most of the time, too. They didn't really change that much, either.

He took the familiar route, turning instinctively at the right spots. The streets of that part of the city were mapped out in his head and he knew exactly where he was going. But if he was to go several miles in another direction, he would be completely lost. New York City was not a place somebody wanted to be lost in.

As Elliot drew closer to the destination, he started taking the turns quicker and carelessly as he kept glancing at the time on the radio. He didn't want to be late, considering they both had limited time for lunch. Although his boss had let him out early, he never budged on the amount of time allowed for his lunch break. Elliot respected that, which is why he was now in such a rush. He was approaching an intersection when he suddenly heard the car in front of him honking before it swerved to the side and stopped, revealing a familiar car in the middle of the street. Elliot slammed on the brakes and they squealed loudly. He could feel the car shaking as the brakes attempted to stop it before completely failing altogether and he collided with the car that was in the middle of the intersection. He had no time to swerve before he heard the horrifying crush of the metal of the two cars. The impact of Elliot's large van sent the small car tumbling across the road.

The two seconds before his air bag exploded in his face, Elliot swore he saw a flash of recognizable blonde hair in the window of the car before it began its tumble. An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach before he felt the blood on his head and blacked out.

* * *

><p>Brittany slowly opened her eyes and the first thing she could tell was that she was in excruciating pain. Her head hurt the most, but it was more than just a head ache. It was an overall pressure on her head. As her eyes opened more, the bright light in the room made the pain increase and she slammed her eyes shut. She tried once more, desperate to see where she was. After realizing the pain and the bright light, she thought farther and realized why she was in so much pain in the first place.<p>

_The accident. _

It all came flooding back to her and it was overwhelming. Some things took a moment, but it was all coming back. The next thought that came into her mind was Santana. Santana had been in the car with her. She may be hurt somewhere because of her. She needed to find out. Elliot came to her mind, too. Did he know what had happened or was he still waiting for them? How long had it even been?

Her eyes adjusted to the bright light above her and she tried to look around, which is when she realized she _couldn't. _She tried to turn her head but her neck was held in place by a brace. She tried to shift her body to one side in an attempt to look around but as she did so, another shot of pain went through her from an unknown source and she cried out. She heard movement in the room, but couldn't look around and already gave up on trying.

"W-who's there?" was all she could manage, but it was in a raspy whisper.

"Shhh, I'm here. It's just me. Try not to move, okay? It may make things hurt more."

The familiar and soft voice she had known for years comforted Brittany and she smiled.

"I figured that out already," Brittany groaned. She heard the footsteps cross the room slowly and she reached out her hand. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot." A hand grasped hers and she held it tightly.

"I love you," Brittany whispered after a few minutes of silence and held the hand tighter in her grasp, never wanting to let it go.

"I know you do," Santana responded, "and I love you, too. And I never want you to call yourself an idiot again. Promise me."

"I promise," Brittany replied with a nod, only to be overcome with pain once again and yelped. Santana's free hand comforted her on her cheek and she rubbed away Brittany's tears she herself hadn't even noticed. Santana was smiling down at Brittany affectionately and Brittany stared back at her with as much as a smile as she could give. Only a loud cough from the doorway of the room brought them out of their trance and Santana was suddenly scrambling away from her as if she had just been caught doing something awful.

"Oh no, don't let me interrupt," Elliot said from the door as he crossed his arms over his chest, "It's nice to finally meet you."


	7. Solve The Fear

Brittany and Santana stared at the doorway where Elliot stood, not really knowing what to say. Santana took a few steps away from the bed, releasing Brittany's hand. Brittany held back her protest, knowing it would make the situation worse. Instead she closed her eyes and clenched her now empty hand into a tight fist.

"I should go," Santana mumbled after minutes of awkward silence as she made her way to the door. She thought Elliot was going to stop her, but he didn't. Instead, he gave her a simple look out of the corner of his eye that Santana couldn't read. She didn't have time to, anyways. Once she passed Elliot, she turned around and glanced at Brittany once more before hurrying down the hall as far from that room as possible.

Elliot kept his arms crossed over his chest as he crossed the room slowly. He was beating himself up on the inside for not seeing what was happening in the first place. He should have seen all the signs. He was just so hopelessly in love with her that he never thought of anything going wrong.

Elliot sat down in the chair that was a few feet away from the bed where Brittany still lay with her eyes closed and fists clenched. He buried his face into his hands and took a few deep breaths. He didn't want to anger Brittany, especially in the state she was in. He was angry, on the other hand, and he really needed to talk about what was going on.

"Britt..." He took another deep breath before looking up at her, finding her looking back at him with an apologetic frown. "I gave you everything," he mumbled almost inaudibly and stood up to look down at her.

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't even apologize right now, Brittany! I gave you _everything_ you could have ever wanted. Was that not good enough for you?"

"It's not your fault, El." Brittany's hand clenched back into fists and she leaned her head back on the pillow. "Please don't think it's something you did."

"Then what happened, B?" Elliot look furious, but it was obvious he was trying to keep calm and relaxed. "Why did you just tell that girl that you loved her?"

Brittany squeezed her eyes shut to pretty the tears she could feel coming. "That girl has been my best friend for longer than I remember."

"It seemed like she was a lot more than just a friend."

"She was, Elliot. She _was._ Things got complicated with her parents and it was just hard for us to be together. But she promised she would come and find me again. After a year or so, I got tired of being lonely. It took her years to come back. I never thought she would."

"Well, she did come back. So what now? You're just going to dump me for her?" Elliot paced around Brittany's bed, still trying his best to stay calm. "I really just want you to be happy Brittany. I did everything to make sure you were happy. I have a job that could support a family and enough money to buy a house. We really could have had it all, B."

Brittany couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They streamed down her cheeks and stained the pillow below her. Her lip quivered and she shook her head frantically to try to get her point across.

"I don't know what's going to happen now. I was happy with you, El. I was really happy. I would have been glad to spend the rest of my life with you."

"But now?"

Brittany couldn't just leave him for Santana. It was never that easy. Leaving him would break his heart, but staying with him would break Santana's heart. If she had it her way, she wouldn't hurt anybody. Unfortunately, life couldn't work that way.

"I can't just… leave you, Elliot. I really like you, but-"

"You don't love me."

Elliot didn't need the answer. He knew Brittany well enough to know that she wouldn't answer a question like that. He knew was she was going to say, though, and because of that he was already on his way out the door. As he was about the leave, he stopped and dug his hand into his pocket. He faced Brittany again and walked over to her, holding out his hand to her.

"They found this in the wreckage of your car. I knew how important it was to you. I just didn't know how important until I saw the same ring on her finger."

After leaving the room, Santana had made her way to the waiting area in the front of the hospital. It's where she had spent most of her time since the car accident three days before. Luckily, Santana had come out with only a couple bruised ribs, which didn't require hospitalization. Elliot also, only had a few minor cuts and scrapes. Brittany hadn't been so lucky. She had a minor cervical fracture, two broken ribs, a broken leg, and a severe concussion that had put her in a coma for two days. She was stabilized, but she was still in the ICU.

Santana sat waiting anxiously in the waiting room, not knowing what she was even waiting for. As soon as she got out of the room she had called Brittany's mother to let her know she was awake. She had flown in the night after the accident had happened to come and see her, but she didn't spend much time at the hospital. She knew Santana and Elliot would both keep an eye on her.

Santana didn't really know what to expect. Either way, she knew that it was going to happen eventually. Elliot was going to find out about her. She just didn't like the way that it had happened and she was worried about Brittany because of it.

She was contemplating going back to Brittany's room to check up on things when she saw Elliot hurry through the waiting room. She didn't know if he saw her, but if he did, he didn't acknowledge it. Santana stood up and watched him run out of the front doors of the hospital before going in the direction of Brittany's room.

As she approached, she heard a nurse inside talking to her and she slowed her steps. She stopped just outside the doorway to see if she could catch what they were saying, but the nurse was whispering now and it was incoherent. After a moment, she stepped into the door and leaned against the frame.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Oh look, Brittany! You have a visitor!" the nurse exclaimed, as if it was such a big surprise. Santana had been her almost 24 hours a day and had seen the same nurse every time. Santana smiled at her as she took a few steps inside. The nurse walked past her and gave her a pat on the arm on the way out.

Santana opened her mouth to say something but Brittany quickly spoke instead, "Come here, San." Santana hesitantly walked over to Brittany's bedside and looked down at her. She couldn't get over how helpless she looked.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked one more time, just to make sure.

Brittany didn't answer at first, but instead just slid her hand over to Santana's and eventually slid her fingers through hers and grasped onto her hand tightly.

"Yeah, I am."


	8. All The Words We Never Say

Santana and Brittany barely talked as they sat in the hospital room. All that was exchanged were glances, smiles, and grasping hands. They didn't have to say anything because they both knew what the other was thinking. They barely spoke a word to each other for hours except for the occasional question and nod. Santana left to get Brittany water or food more than a few times and she didn't complain. She didn't mind serving Brittany.

By the time the next shift of nurses were starting to come in, Santana knew it was her time to go, at least for the night.

"I'll be back tomorrow," she promised, as she kissed Brittany's hand gently. Brittany was already half asleep and Santana didn't want to disturb her anymore.

Santana had been staying at a hotel nearby for the past few days since the accident. It was in between the hotel and Brittany and Elliot's apartment, so she could make runs there if Brittany needed anything, which she rarely did. She hadn't asked for much since she woke up earlier that day, besides the occasional snack or drink.

Santana hadn't heard anything from Elliot since he ran out, considering she had been with Brittany all afternoon. But he hadn't come back to say anything. She didn't dare to ask Brittany what had happened in the room in the time she had been gone, mostly because she didn't know what answer to expect. Brittany's actions were confusing, as they had always been. She was always loving and she never wanted to hurt anybody. But that made it hard for Santana to understand what Brittany really wanted. She could have just been trying to be nice to her and not wanted anything more than that.

Once she was back at the hotel, all Santana wanted was a good night sleep. She hadn't gotten any decent sleep because she had been constantly worrying about Brittany. Now that Brittany was awake and started to recover, she felt a bit more relaxed, but just a bit. She was still on edge from thinking about Elliot and trying to read Brittany's feelings. Despite all of the anxiousness she still felt, Santana had no trouble getting to sleep as soon as she laid her head down on the pillow.

As promised, Santana was heading back to the hospital early the next morning. She didn't expect Brittany to be up, but she wanted to be there when she woke. She walked confidently down the hospital hall and nodded at the woman at the front desk as she passed.

When Santana finally arrived at Brittany's room, she found, to her surprise, Brittany awake and talking with her mother. She walked in slowly and more hesitantly. She had only ran into Brittany's mother once in the hospital a few days before and it wasn't uncomfortable, but it was still unpleasant. She felt unwelcome around her, like she was ruining her daughter's perfect relationship. In a way she was, but Brittany's mother didn't see it like that.

"Santana! It's nice to see you again," her mother was ecstatic, as usual. Santana gave her a nod of acknowledgement stayed relatively close to the door.

"You can come in closer, you know," Brittany said with a smile. Brittany could sense Santana's nervousness and she reached out her hand to encourage her. "Come here, I want a good morning hug." Brittany was willing to be open, but Santana was hesitant to exhibit more than just simple friendliness towards Brittany. She stepped towards her slowly and Brittany encouraged her with a giggle. Eventually Santana stood by her, but her hands remained glued to her side.

"Come _here_," Brittany pouted at Santana's hesitation and she reached out her arms farther, grasping for Santana's hold. Santana slowly but surely reached down and wrapped her arms gently around Brittany, being careful not to move her in a way that might be painful. She stood back up and smiled more widely at Brittany.

"That's better," Brittany exclaimed with a giggle as she folded her arms back over her stomach. Santana just stood quietly by Brittany and tried not to make eye contact with her mother, trying to avoid any slight bit of awkwardness that might come from it.

"Elliot called this morning, San," Brittany said after a minute.

"Brittany…" her mother piped in and gave her a stern look. She knew it was a sensitive topic at the moment and because she liked Santana so much, she wanted to protect her feelings.

"It's okay," Santana smiled over at Brittany's mother and nodded before looking back at Brittany, "That's great. I'm glad that you're talking with him." She tried her best to smile after she just blatantly lied. She didn't know why Elliot had called or what he had said, but she didn't want to find out. There was too much of a chance that it would hurt and, going back to her old high school self, she avoided any possibility of getting hurt by someone she loved. She didn't want that again.

Santana looked around the room and swallowed back the tears that had encroached. She looked over at Brittany's mother, who watched her intently as if she was trying to understand what she was feeling.

"Well, I should go. I didn't mean to interrupt your bonding time. I should be going back home soon anyways," Santana didn't look at Brittany as she spoke and she slowly took steps backwards towards the door until she turned around.

"Wait, Santana! Home? You're going home!" Brittany tried not to sit up quickly in shock, in fear of hurting herself.

"Yeah, Brittany. Home. I think I've done enough damage here." Santana didn't even know what she was saying anymore. She wanted to stay there in the city with Brittany, but she was letting her fear take hold of her.

"But, San-" Brittany was close to tears now, just like Santana. But Santana was already halfway out the door and didn't dare to look at Brittany, so she never saw those tears.

"I hope you're feeling better soon." Santana didn't look back as she left the room and walked not-so-confidently down the hallway. Nobody stopped her or came after her. She ignored the woman at the front desk, and didn't make eye contact with anyone. She tried not to let her tears flood her eyes until she got to the car. All she had to do was make it to the car.

She made it out the door before she tripped over her own feet. She was able to catch herself without falling, but the little movement just let her crumble. The tears fell like razorblades down her cheek and she fell to her knees. She knelt there, right in front of the hospital doors, letting her walls come down.

"We had a chance… We had a chance!" She cried out hopelessly, slamming her fists hard into the cement beneath her and yelping at the intense pain that followed. She sobbed into her hands until she felt the hand of a nurse that had come running out to help. But it was too late, there was no helping her now.

Santana sat in front of the hospital for what felt like hours, and the nurse sat there with her. Santana's hands were cut up and bleeding from slamming them into the ground, but she refused to get help for them. Blood dripped around the ring that was still on her finger. But she didn't want to be the one getting the attention. Brittany was in there still recovering and she was the one who needed the attention. She didn't say any of this to the nurse, but instead they just sat in silence.

Once Santana began to calm down significantly, the nurse spoke to her, "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked quietly as she ran her hand over Santana's back.

"No, I'm okay."

"You don't look okay to me. What do you say we go get a coffee from the cafeteria? I'm on my break. We can talk about it if you want."

Santana looked up at the woman, expecting to see someone much older. But instead there was a girl around her age kneeling next to her. Her long brown hair was pulling up into a loose bun and she smiled broadly when Santana looked up at her.

"My name's Stella, by the way. I work here, obviously." Stella laughed and stood up slowly. She held out a hand to Santana and smiled in encouragement, "So how about that coffee?"

Santana looked up at her and wiped away the leftover tears. Hesitantly, she took Stella's hand and hoisted herself up.

"Thanks," Santana whispered and nodded to Stella's offer. "I'd love a coffee."

As soon as Santana agreed, Stella led her in the direction of the cafeteria and they walked slowly. Stella stayed a foot ahead of Santana but every so often she glanced back at her to make sure she was still there.

"The coffee here isn't really that bad. But let's just hope it isn't too old. Stale coffee sucks." Stella went on talking, looking back as she did so, as if Santana hadn't just been having a meltdown outside on the sidewalk five minutes earlier.

The cafeteria then came into view and it was mostly empty. There were a few people sitting here and there, but it was too late to get something to eat for breakfast and it was too early for lunch. Stella led Santana over to the coffee table and Santana helped herself to a huge up of it. She usually drank it with milk or cream, but she was too out of focus at the moment to figure out where she could find milk. So instead she just left it blank and waited for Stella. Santana pointed to a table in the far corner of the cafeteria and looked to the girl getting her coffee, "Do you want to sit over there?" Stella nodded as she took a gulp of her coffee and followed Santana over to the table. She sat down and stared blankly at her coffee, knowing that Stella was looking at her.

"So, what's your name?" Stella asked eventually.

"Oh, sorry. It's Santana." She looked up at Stella and shrugged slightly. "Not really a nice name, but hey, I deal with it."

"I like it. It fits you."

"How would you know? You don't know me at all." The tone in Santana's voice changed dramatically without her meaning it and she looked back down to her cup. She had promised herself that she would stop snapping at people once she graduated high school.

"Not your personality, just the way you look. You look like a Santana." Stella shrugged and took another sip of her coffee. "And no, I don't know much about you. But I do know you must be very attached to someone in this hospital considering that you were crying."

"Yeah, I don't usually do that a lot."

"It's bad to hold it all in. It's okay to let go sometimes." Stella gave Santana a matter of the fact nod.

"You sound like a therapist. Aren't you supposed to be a nurse?"

"Actually I wanted to be a therapist when I was in college," Stella explained, "but then I realized I sucked at it so I just switched to nursing. It's so much more fun."

"My dad wanted me to do something medical at first, but then he wanted me to be a lawyer. So I just kind of went with it."

"So you're just doing what your parents want you to do?" Stella looked at her confusingly, as if she didn't understand the concept.

"Yeah, pretty much. I don't mind it though. Law school is… fun." Santana tried to give a believable smile but she ended up laughing. "Well actually it's horrible, but I don't complain."

Stella laughed along with Santana before she looked at her watch, "Crap, my break it almost over. I wish we could talk some more, but unfortunately it's a busy time of the day and I can't extend my break. But here," Stella pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and scribbled a number on it before handing it to Santana. "This is my number. You can call me _any time_, okay? If you ever need to talk about it. Or if you want another coffee."

Santana took the paper and thanked her as she tucked it into her purse. She didn't know if she would actually call her at any time, but it could happen. "Thanks for dealing with me," Santana said with a quiet laugh.

"Oh, don't even worry about it at all. I wasn't just going to leave a pretty girl crying on the sidewalk all alone, now was I?" Stella smiled and took a few steps. "I'll talk to you later, Santana!" She waved at her before turning and heading back in the direction they came from.

Santana sat there until she finished her coffee. After throwing out the empty cup, she pulled the slip of paper out from her purse and checked the number over. Maybe she would actually call her; maybe she needed that change of pace.


End file.
